Beware, DIY Hair

Gary brought home Crumbs. Is this a passive aggressive way to say congratulations on losing 7 pounds?

I'm thrilled about it .

Interpret that last sentence as sarcasm... or not. Reader's choice.

moving on...
I have a problem. I can't stop cutting my hair. Someone needs to come to my house and take away my scissors. I've actually had fantasies of buzzing my head. I also have a fear of looking like a dude.
Here's the story:

About a year ago, a friend of a friend told me she cuts her own hair and I thought that was cool so I started cutting my own hair. As I found out, I can sort-of do it! My hair became my DIY project. I'm proud to say I did all sorts of advertising, catalogue, editorial and pregnancy jobs with the cuts I gave myself. I felt I had passed a test of sorts getting clearance for my hair cuts to be photographed and for those photographs to be published.
End of January I went to MN to visit my family. I stayed for two weeks. During this time my mom noticed that I was in need of a proper hair cut. Here's how that gets played out. My mom says my hair looks fine and then picks up the phone to call her hair stylist Jessica to fix the damage. I was grateful, wiling and happy to have Jessica cut my hair. She cuts my mom and my sister's hair and their hair looks great. My hair cutting DIY project was coming to an end as far as my mom and I were concerned.

Here's the cut, Jan 13: She gave me exactly what I asked for. Chin length and long layering in the back. Apparently what I asked for ends up looking a little "mall-mom-sassy" on me.

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It felt refreshing having a professional cut my hair and in that moment, I felt awesome. That's Jessica in the photo... she's as fun as she looks.

When I got back home to LA, the thought crossed my mind that perhaps this cut would be a little less "mid-westy" if I took the angle from front to back down a bit. I started to cut but I couldn't quite get it right. Here's where I ended up Jan 21:

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The next day, Jan 22, I felt like it was a little too punk rocky so I did this to classic it up:

The following day, Jan 23, I now felt the cut was too choppy and needed to be softened. Here's what I did:

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Gary had just watched me take my hair from shoulder to chin and now above the ear and he'd also watched me every day try to fix it with combs, gels and worst of all scissors. He held a one-man intervention and asked me to take a break. I agree with him.

We decide to put my scissors on a 2 week hiatus.

2 weeks and 1 day later I did this to my hair:

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Sven, my agent, took these photos so clients could be aware of my body and hair.

I have no idea what it going on on top of my head. I'm lost in a hair desert and I don't know where to turn for help. The two cuts I've had at LA salons (and very fancy ones too) have been horrible. In New York, I'll pop into Garren's and he will cut my hair. Or I'll get it trimmed on set. But now, I haven't been on set since I became too fat, I mean pregnant, to model and I haven't been in New York for any extended period of time since having the baby, and I do not know who to trust in LA to cut my hair. I decide to wait and do nothing and until I arrive at a solution. The solution always appears if I stay out of the problem long enough.

I'm able to leave my hair alone for a month.

March 9 the scissors come out again.

I decide to get rid of that piece in front of my eyes. It's like half a bang that no longer tucks behind my ear. Now it just scratches my eyeballs and looks stupid.

I chop it all off:

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The next day I had the realization I need to go a little shorter if I'm going to go there. I really can't stop. Of course, five minutes after I cut, my agent, Sven, needs to see the length for a client that I had seen a month ago when I had the stupid bang thing, so I style it like this to make it look a little longer:

Ugh. I look like a monk... and it's still uneven.

Final cut for me. Sven calls me to come in 2 days later. The clients need to see a better photo. I do my best to fix the monk damage and here's the result:

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I think it's a good cut now. Short and sweet.

Sven steps in. I'll go to Frederic Fekkai as soon as the client gives me the ok to get a proper cut and then I can begin growing it back out. I'm done for now with my DIY hair-cut experiment. I can see clearly that if I continue I'll end up shaving my head. Fantasies, as well as dreams, do sometimes come true.

Not bad though for someone who never went to beauty school, no?

Oh, and the Crumbs cupcake is still in the fridge, only a bit of frosting tasted.

*photo of final result to be posted as soon as I get clearance from the client.