May 25, 2011

Cheerios at 3AM

Last night, half asleep, I walked downstairs and made myself a bowl of cheerios with raisins.  Gross.  I don't like cheerios but sitting alone at our dining room table at 3AM and it tasted delicious.  
I'm scared of ghosts and I'm scared of the dark but with my bowl of cheerios I felt brave until my heart jumped into my throat causing my cheerios to get caught and cut off my air supple.  I nearly screamed and jumped out of my chair when I thought I saw Simon, our cat, float through the air.  I reminded myself that I was probably sleep dreaming.  

Sitting alone eating cheerios did NOT feel like this: 

It felt more like this: 

I couldn't relax. I imagined for a moment that I was Judith O'Dea and waited for zombies to show up. I knew I'm just scaring myself but I couldn't help but make myself NOT look out the windows.  I've seen too many alien popping up at the window videos on youtube so I know better than to even glance. 

Here's Ms. O'Dea gripping a grave:

I woke up enough to realize I wasn't even hungry. Then I went back to the kitchen and poured myself another bowl while I contemplated those news specials I've seen of people who eat in the middle of the night and become huge. I imagined myself in 15 years being 300 pounds heavier (I'm not going to post that photo) and then sprinkled some raisins on the 2nd bowl of cheerios.  I resumed my snacking position at the dining room table and told myself to wake up already and do not look out the window.  And I swore I felt Simon (the cat) walk past me.

And then it was finished.  I stumbled back upstairs, tripped on the baby gate going up, didn't look out the windows and fell back into bed.  Not sexy, not sexy at all.

Does this ever happen to you?  

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