Apr 4, 2011

Faithful Certitude

The opposite of Faith is NOT Fear.  I've come to realize that the opposite of Faith is Certainty
Quite a few beliefs that I held as a child and young adult about myself and the world has limited my growth.  The more I held onto the idea that my beliefs were right, the more I struggled to move forward.  It was only by questioning them and reevaluating their origin was I able to take down, re-evaluate and rebuild. 

Here's a few beliefs that I've had to confront over the years: 
1. I have missed out on opportunities that I will never get back 
2. God is something or someone that exists outside of myself and I must believe certain things about Him otherwise I will face an eternity is a not so nice place. 
3. People will literally die if I take care of myself and put my needs first
4. My beauty is misunderstood and gets in the way of people seeing me
5. Women who hate me make the best friends
6. Men who mention sex in the first conversation more than five times while telling me they are only interested in being friends really only want to be friends. 
7. My baby will not survive me being me
8. My husband will not survive me being me
9. I am entitled to a career
10. I cannot rely upon my friends for help.  I must figure out how to help myself. 
It took a long time and a lot of pain to realize that I even believed some of the above.  Some of them are downright embarrassing.  After writing about them, talking about them and revealing them to trusted friends that could help me see a different way of living, I am able to say that I now believe differently: 

1. I learned from past successes and failures and I can use those lessons today to create more opportunity. 
2. God is something I will never understand and although I'm not religious, the search for understanding is what's important
3. I can only take care of someone else if I have myself to give.  I have to put my oxygen mask on first. 
4. My beauty is a privilege and deserves respect. So today I accept this face and I do my best to not be afraid to enjoy it and share it while it lasts. 
5. My girlfriends today adore me as much as I adore them and sometimes even more. 
6. I married the man who was truly my friend and no longer waste time on confused boys. 
7. Henry WILL survive me. 
8. Gary and our marriage WILL survive me... (trust me, I've tested this)
9. A career is earned over time with small, consistent, correct action that I am capable of taking. 
10. I cannot do life alone.  I need not only my family but a huge community of friends and business associates to help guide me and support me. 

There's more just waiting to be dug out and experience has shown me that although the digging can be confusing and sometimes scary.  However, the freedom and clarity on the other side is well worth the effort. 
What are the beliefs that you hold onto that are perhaps holding you back today?

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